oldschool CxC

Friday, May 27, 2005

One bad-ass girl. Evidentally her name is "Sue Flecks". Gives a whole new connotation to taking the lift.

Here's the translation of the Russian content:
"Not always attempts to select at associates of a thing come to an end success of robbers. The chamber of internal supervision established in one lifts of the Tokyo office, has fixed a unique case when to the criminal gave worthy repulse. With the broken neck it has been delivered in hospital, and the girl after evidence in a police station with the world has been released vosvojasi."

Saturday, May 21, 2005

While on the comedian tip... Mitch Hedberg died a couple months back; I thought he was one of the funniest comedians around. He wasn't real famous because he had no desire to do anything other than standup. Some jokey jokes:
The flap on the inside of the vending machine is a great invention. Before that it was tough times for the vending machine owner. "Hey, which candy bar are you getting?" "That one... and every one on the bottom row."

I played golf, I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it. I never got a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying. You're supposed to yell "fore." But I was too busy mumbling, "there ain't no way that's gonna hit him." .... I hit a guy in one. What's par for hitting a guy? One. If you hit a guy in two, you are an asshole.

I went to a restaurant and I ordered a chicken sandwich, but I don't think the waitress heard me 'cause she asked how I'd like my eggs. So I tried answering her anyways. "INCUBATED! Then hatched, then raised, then beheaded, then plucked, then cut up, then put onto a grill, then put onto a bun. Damn, it's gonna take a while. I don't have the time. Scrambled!"

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey: man, just be yourself. I already like you, little brother.

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. Come on four billion! Fuck, seven! Not even close. I need some more dice. Four billion divided by six. At least.

I have long hair, and see, people associate long hair with drug use. I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use, like 'an extreme longing for cake'. People would see a guy with long hair and say "damn, that fucker eats cake, he's on bundt cake". Mothers telling their daughters "don't bring the cake-eater over here anymore, he smell like flour. Did you notice how his eyes widened when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"

Because of acid, I now know that butter is waaaaay better than margarine. I saw through the bullshit.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Bob Saget -- dirtiest man in America:
“Saget is the dirtiest motherfucking cocksucker that ever walked the face of the earth!” said [Penn] Jillette. “Doing those little bullshit family shows, playing the retarded fucking squeaky dickless dad—that’s not Saget! That’s a joke. You go to a restaurant with Saget and before he orders food, he’ll be talking to the waitress about fucking his daughters in the ass.”

Friday, May 13, 2005

The Seven Deadly Sins of Mr. Potato Head. Anger made me laugh, twice. (from Nerve Scanner, a weekly feature always worth a look.)

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sam's Idol?

not shills?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Here's youth redux for all the old skool homies...
(by lead singer of Veruca Salt)

I'm using this as a lullaby for India and August.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

man I hope you all are knowing about newsgroups and the google groups search function. how else would you find the answer, or at least discussion, of practically any question you can imagine, enjoy the best of trolls, flamewars, and gems.. e.g.:

N=140; Q=160; S=180; T=190; H=210; V=240; Z=>>240
(shit thats km)
N for Nonsensical, Q for Questionable Quality, S for Snail, T for
Turtle, H for High speed, V for Very high speed and Z for ZOOM! ;)

Find me some great threads.. somewhere I stumbled across a great one debating barbecue and going mad tangential.. also some hilarious trollwork out there..